Saturday, September 14, 2013

Top 5 characters I want OUT of SSB4

A note to anybody reading this today (spoilers though): This was made in the summer of 2013, and this is now out of date. Especially since all of the characters who appear in this list make it in Super Smash Bros 4. No, they made little to no changes in the characters, not even the changes I wanted. (Although ROB did get a new final smash, and I thought it was cool.) If I were to update this list I'd replace Meta Knight and put a tie between Dark Pit and Lucina at Number 3. All I changed was grammar, and some really stupid spelling mistakes. (I misspelled "Ghirahim" as "Girham." No joke,) Looking back, I was a bit too hard on these characters, (if the Duck Hunt Dog can be a playable character despite people hating him before, I guess ROB's inclusion is not an issue anymore) and I just wanted to do something different, since people were making countdowns on characters they want in Smash, and are still doing it since DLC characters are now officially a thing. Until then, enjoy this dumb list.

-Elijah Berry July 6th, 2015


PS: Characters I want as DLC are Wolf, Krystal, King K. Rool, Travis Touchdown, Simon Belmont, and/or any Square Enix character.

Yes, we are all making countdowns on characters we want in the next Super Smash Bros, but there might be some characters that have a possible chance of not getting in, whether they were terrible in battle, not relevant as they are today, or just random unnecessary choices. That's where I come in, however I will be fair and talk about how the moveset can be changed if possible. The only rules are that I'm going to pick characters that were in the roster in Brawl, veterans or newcomers. This isn't a new characters I don't want in the next smash list. Also, I'm excluding the third party characters (Sonic and Snake) because it's very possible they won't be in, because guest characters don't usually last for more than one game in a series, especially in fighting games. Let me get my water gun to douse the oncoming flames and let's start this list!

Number 5
Toon Link


I don't exactly hate the character and know he can be changed, hence why he's ideal to be at the very bottom of this list. He is only one of few clones on this list- actually calling them clones is getting old, in a way, they are just model swaps, it was a bit more obvious in Melee because while they were changed aesthetically (slowing them down or speeding them up, size, or the color of fire, etc), there are no other changes in their moveset. That's going to come back later. What can be changed if Nintendo wants him back, since the remake is coming out soon, is of course his moveset, all from his games that uses the cartoony style. For Example, his Up-B move can be a deku leaf instead of a spin slash, his bombs can become the remote bombs from minish cap, his side be can be the pegasus boots, the bow element can change from fire, ice, or light, every time you use it, and finally his final smash would be him using the wind waker and summoning a big tornado to blow away his opponent. So I forgive characters who are kind of the same if the moveset has at least a few big changes, like Mario and Luigi. Their side-B and down-B are different in Brawl and thus Luigi no longer qualifies as a clone. So unless they can give him the moveset I have, I'd see him be replaced with either Ghirahim or Groose from Skyward Sword.

Number 4
Jigglypuff

OK, obviously a water gun isn't going to work, let me get my fire hydrant ready.

Yes. I know she was one of the 12 playable characters in original Smash Bros. Yes! I know that she's going to become a fairy type in Gen 6! YES! I KNOW SHE HAS THAT REST ABILITY THAT OTHERWISE USELESS IF YOU PLAYERS AREN'T TOUCHING HER! Regardless, she's not really that relevant. The only reason (I think) she was chosen was because of the anime, but the anime doesn't feature her anymore, at least that one Jigglypuff that has the mic/pen thing. Does anybody use it in the games? No? Then why keep her there?! Fairy Type, or no Fairy Type, it wouldn't make that much of a difference as a fighter. I mean, what? Are they going to make Jigglypuff's moves super effective against Yoshi or Bowser?

...

Anyways, you want Jigglypuff? Then implement some of the new Fairy Type moves in the moveset, and change her final smash into something useful. Otherwise there was enough Gen 1 in the series anyways. I have a feeling most of the staff were Genwunners, so aside from Pikachu or Mewtwo (with his new forms) just replace them with other generations, I would put the Pokemon Trainer there, but like Young Link, he can be replaced with another incarnation like the Kalos Trainer (using Gen 6 starters), or N (using a Gen 3, 4, and 5 Pokemon).

Number 3
Meta Knight

Yeah, it was either him or Ike for an overpowered character, and Ike can be replaced with Roy for maximum irony, and Meta Knight is too fast and too strong at the same time. He might be the most infamous in the Smash Bros community that he was taken out of Brawl Tournaments, so taking him out means less complaints. If he has to be kept it's best to have one without the other. Keep his speed but lower his power to the point where one hit is 1% of damage, and it'd be hard for him to KO an opponent. So yeah, change or bust, that's what I say for him, moving on.

Number 2
Falco

Yeah 911? It's seems the fire hydrant wasn't enough to stop the flaming, could you get some firemen here asap? Thank you.

It's no secret that the most infamous example of clones are the Star Fox characters since Falco and Wolf have the same exact moveset as Fox. Falco is the most obvious clone that was somehow kept in Brawl. Don't get me wrong, Falco is not a bad character in his series, but what makes him different than Fox other than his species?

"Well, Fox's gun is more rapid, while Falco's gun can stop opponents"

Fox could do that in the original Smash.

"OH! I know! Fox can hold his reflector while, Falco can 'kick' his reflector in Brawl!"

(Sarcasm)That's very clever.(Sarcasm) So that attack is less useful because you can attack him from behind while he does it. It doesn't even last long.

Just... Kicking the reflector. Kicking it! That's awesome!

So he's here on this list is because, while he might have personailty, there is nothing I can think of for Nintendo to change his moveset. (Other than kicking the GUN!) The only thing to do is to replace him with Krystal, because I agree with RabbidLuigi that she can use her staff for her moveset and if you've played Star Fox Adventures, you'll know what that staff can do. Just make sure she doesn't have the same low amount of brain cells she had in Command. Trust me, I'll go into that piece of scrap metal one day. The point is, that I don't understand why you guys enjoy playing as him. Speak of the devil, this is a question for...

Number1
ROB

Why did Sakurai want him there? Why R.O.B and not Krystal, or Cloud, or Megaman?

Now I'm not against putting in characters that are just stupid. (Not that this series wasn't kind of stupid to begin with) In fact, when I first saw that trailer showing the Wii Fit Trainer as a playable character for the next game, I was laughing hysterically, and it just made me realize something. The team is no longer taking this seriously, they really want to just have fun making it just as we are going to have fun playing it. Brawl seems to have took itself seriously, evident in the Subspace Emissary story mode. ROB was there for the story, but why even make him a playable character. Before you harp on me, I am aware that he was responsible for ending the video game crash of 1983, but the truth is... he was a third of the reason. Nintendo marketed the original NES as a toy, right? So they had to make some Toy like peripherals for the NES, there was ROB, but there was also the light gun. Nintendo would bundle the game with Duck Hunt and of course Super Mario Bros. So really it's the Zapper and our beloved Mario that saved us gamers from the crash. So again, why? He has made cameos, why don't you leave it at that? Hell, he made a cameo in Brawl's F-Zero Stage? He's not the worst character I played as, but he's not great, with his moveset being slow, clunky, and not to mention an easy to dodge Final Smash. There's not enough material you can even do with him, it's like making a power glove a playable character. Though it'd make a good skin for Master/Crazy Hand. So, Why...

This is Elijah Berry of Dokemon Studios, and it looks like the firemen are here.


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